You know, I'm pretty hard to offend, but right now, I am seriously struggling with potential offensive comments. See, I found out last Monday that I'm pregnant, due in April. I am totally thrilled by this, and would LOVE to share my news, but I know for a fact that more than half the people I tell will have the same "congratulatory" comment for me. I HATE it! It makes my skin crawl, makes me want to scream, and I honestly haven't decided how I want to answer what I consider to be the rudest question possible - "You know what causes that, don't you?" Nearly always followed by some stupid yucking laughter, or grumbling about how it's better me than them. Yeah, you're right. I am absolutely delighted that it is me - and if it were them, I would be rather sad that they had such a dismal attitude towards their own innocent baby. For that matter, I'm sad that they have that dismal attitued about *my* baby. Sheesh - nothing like living in an anti-life culture. I veiw each of my children as a blessing. That doesn't mean I don't struggle with parenting them, it just means that I am glad I have the opportunity. I really don't know what to say when people make these comments. I'm rather non-confrontational and prefer for everyone to get along, but I'm so tempted to either ask the moronic fool to explain it to me (in front of my other children, no less), or to tell them happily just how sexy (and well endowed) my wonderful hubby is. Not that it's any of their business, but a little TMI might make them think twice before making another stupid comment? Nah, not likely. A lady I met at the park today had a fabulous answer - "Yes, it's called good planning." I love that! I think I may actually use it. She was one of 10 children and said that that same question made her mother furious. Wow. People were this rude that many years ago? Not that this lady was old by any stretch of the imagination, but she was there with her darling grandson, so I'm going to guess she is at least 10 years older than me, probably more like 15-20. I am so grateful for her great response, but I know I still don't have it in me to answer that question 5-10 times a day once I start showing. So why does something that I am so excited about have to cause me so much pain, too?
I guess the moral to this story is please, if the thought has ever crossed your mind to say somthing like that, please, please don't say it! The correct response to someone being pregnant is "Congratulations!" No matter if it is their 1st, 5th, or even 20th. Even if they are 13, or if they are 50. A baby is a blessing, a precious life to be valued, and no matter what you personal opinion is of the situaton, I can guarantee you that the mother really needs supportive comments, even from complete strangers. No one wants to be ridiculed for the way they live their life, whether they are happy with their situation or not. I just hope that my rant here helps someone to be more sympathetic towards other people, pregnant or otherwise.
Heehee - you're still reading? Wow! I figured everyone would see the novel and move on ;o) I'm having more nausea with this one than any of the others, and so far, it's from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. I am so sleepy all the time, and can't get anything done. But it is all SOOOO worth it! I'm 6 weeks today, and I know that I should be over the rough part in another 2 months, at most. Then I'll get to enjoy the rest of it lol! I have a ton of projects that I started for Noah and Ellie, but never finished. So, if I start now, I'll have quite a few sweet little mommy-made goodies to dress this sweet little thing in. I have told Adron that I want to wait till the end to find out what we are having (my other "favorite" question - "Do you know what you are having?" Yeah, gerbils. Duh!) Waiting to find out will let me make all my UFOs and set them aside instead of not sewing until I'm halfway through the pregnancy. I want to start a grandmother's hope chest, so whatever this one doesn't get to use can be put away. I am truly praying that Adron will soften about this being our last, but if not, I can get ready for my babies to grow up and have their own children.
On a totally different subject, well kinda, I've got another recipe card for you. I made pizzas tonight - something I haven't done since I started doing the Core plan. I'm totally going to enjoy being able to eat what I want ;o) I do plan to eat well most of the time, so I'll be in much better shape at the end, and it will be easier to go back to eating right once the little one is here. This recipe is for a no-yeast pizza crust. I've experimented with it a bit, but totally have no idea what the results were. I think it needs a little more cooking than it gets when I top it without prebaking it, but it doesn't need so much more that the crust gets hard. Anyway, you try it and I'd love to hear what works! As usual, just click on the preview to be taken to 4shared to download.
Monday, August 25, 2008
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9 comments:
Congrats on having another baby!! I'm excited for you :)
Great news! Congratulations!
I'd love to see pics of the growing belly, but that might be just me... After all, I have a 5-year plan that will land me as a midwife in the end! ;)
And yes, those stupid comments exist all over the globe - at least here in Scandinavia; I learned from a friend to reply "too many pancakes" if anyone dares to comment on the size of the belly in question... ;)
Good luck with the so-called "morning" sickness - I felt sick all day through to week 16, then it disappeared, but my poor friend had it through to full term... As she said, if she didn't really think the baby was a blessing and a gift, she would've thrown herself off a rock to get it over with... o_O Yes, she had another one afterwards, and it was exactly the same thing all over again :)
Thank you! Your blog post will be advertised on the DigiFree Digital Scrapbooking Freebie search engine today (look for timestamp: 26 Aug [LA 12:00am, NY 02:00am, UK 07:00am, OZ 05:00pm] ).
Catherine - I am pretty new to your blog - found it thru Funky Playground. I just wanted to say that people are people and usually they say stupid things because 1) they don't know what to really say or 2) they have their own issues. I do crisis support for deaths and other crimes with survivors or victims and we learned to just listen and to know that we don't need to say anything at all.
Take that nice lady at the park's advice - just make your come-back line and stick to it. It doesn't have to be rude, even if the comment is or it can be. I used to be the type of person who would shout out something rude and mean to anyone who stepped in front of me without saying excuse me (or anything else in life) but my motto now is - it is what it is! If you can't change them, dont worry about it. Move on and just be as happy as YOU can be.
Morning Sickness - try those seabands (they go on your wrists). It might work some but if you are super sick and can't keep food down, talk to you dr. There is a medication out there that they use for nasua (spelling) in cancer patients that works wonders for morning (all day) sickness. I had hyperemisis (spelling) which is severe morning sickness and that was the only thing that allowed me to eat (after losing 20 lbs first from not eating). Take care of your self and CONGRATULATIONS!
Wohoho, congrats on having another baby! Love your blog soo much"
You've been tagged. Stop by my blog to see.
I love the blog! Thanks for the freebies!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you and I'm not even just saying that because of your "novel." I truly am happy for you. LOL
I can't believe that people say those rude things to you. How hard is it to congratulate someone?I haven't heard responses like that in my circles, but then again, I am a teacher so everyone I work with tends to love children. :-)
I think these rude people are just dumping their garbage on you. They are obviously too unhappy with something in their life to be happy for you, which is sad for them.
If it is a single person who doesn't want kids and says it is better you than them, you could just tell them they are going to die old and alone. LOL If it is a married person, just an innocent "Ya, its just the strangest thing that my husband can't get enough of me, and how we keep adding to our gorgeous, wonderful family. So strange. :-)
The "you know how that happened" comment:
Duh, brainiac....now that we got that out of the way, where is my congrats?
Congrats!!!
Sad that people can't keep their rude comments to themselves.
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