Monday, March 30, 2009

Dealing with pg hormones and missing my *stuff*

Sighhhhh.... I feel so incredibly out of touch right now! I'm in a total state of panic over the short amount of time left before Jonah is scheduled to arrive, I've been sitting here crying for the past hour or so because all 4 of my sewing machines were ruined, which is ok, but I have no way to get another one for a very long time. It really, really is freaking me out!

Backtracking first - gotta start with the good stuff, I suppose ;o) I went in for my checkup on Friday, and talked to my OB about scheduling my c-section, which the hospital only lets you do two weeks ahead of time. I totally had it in my head that we'd have him Monday, April 13, meaning that the office manager would put my name on her list, then call today. It turns out that my wonderful, amazing doctor isn't able to do it then because her kids are out of school, and the nanny has the day off. Well, sheesh! I'd feel awful for her to skip out on her kids just for my sake - she *has* done it before, and I felt bad, then, too. So we started talking about Friday (Good Friday for you Western church people), but she didn't think she was working that day. She decided that Thursday, April 9, would be the safest bet for Jonah and me, so I'm scheduled for a c-section at 4 pm CST next Thursday!!! ACK!

"Losing" those 4 days totally sent me into a tizzy - I thought I had the whole Easter weekend to prepare, but instead, I will be coming home from the hospital that Sunday, Lord willing!

That brings me to the next problem. We were able to move back home this weekend, but, of course, everything is still packed. Oh, and all of our laundry won't be delivered until Wednesday. So, I'm stressing over how much unpacking I have to do, and how messy my bedroom is. I can't stand the thought of coming home from the hospital to this mess, but there's no one able to help me clean it all up. And I have minimal energy at this point...

I've been begging Adron to let me go get a darn pedicure, as I honestly can not reach my toenails to trim them. Ok, so I can *reach* them, but the angle is really bad, and I can't do it at all while breathing lol! Making that a pretty bad idea ;o) Can't you just see me passing out while trying to cut my toenails? That would be classic! Anyway, I just want to go get a pedicure from a local nail salon, but we don't have the cash right now, and even if we did, I don't have anyone to watch the little ones while I go. Poor pitiful me, huh? LOL! I know I'm being a spoiled brat about this, but it's the one thing I have treated myself to right before having every one of my babies. Actually, I don't think I did before Madeline, but I know I have with the other 4. As a result, I feel pretty hurt and angry that my hubby doesn't think that I'm worth $35. Grrrrr. I'm sure that's not how he means it, but that's what it feels like.

I really feel like a bad mommy right now, too. For every one of my children, I oohed and ahhed over baby clothes for months, finding the *perfect* outfit for them to wear home from the hospital. For Audrey, it was the dress and jackey my mother wore as a baby, and she actually came home from the hospital on my mom's birthday =) For Madeline, I picked a sweet, gender neutral outfit from Baby Gap. It had a little quilted jacket with it, as she was born in February. For Max, we bought a Raiders onesie when we went to Oakland right after I got pg, and for his hospital pictures I made a smocked gown. For Ellie, it was a little romper/dress with Madiera applique chicks, that I sewed right after finding out that she was a girl, and her pictures were taken in a little dress by Carters. I made a soft sherpa outfit with an appliqued giraffe for Noah to wear home, and his pictures were in an outfit I bought from a mama online. Then there's poor Jonah. I haven't bought or made a thing for him to wear home or for his pictures. I realized that this morning, and totally started freaking out. I don't have time to go shopping, not wiht having all this unpacking to do, and I don't have any money, either. I'm soooooo frustrated! It's not that this wasn't important, it's just that I had planned to sew something, and when we had the fire, that ruined all those plans.

As for sewing, I was hoping that maybe they would bring back my machines, despite them being smoke damaged, and I could use the serger and mechanical machine, at the very least, to get a couple little things sewn. But, no. They didn't bring them back, making sure that wasn't even an option. So, now I'm stressed beyond belief. I need the creative release I get from sewing, especially with the stress I've been dealing with. But, goodness knows we don't have the money to replace them now. And probably won't until the insurace company gives us a check for the damaged goods. That could quite easily be 3-4 months from now, and I'm seriously sick over that! I just feel like it's all so unfair (I know, life isn't fair), and I'm mad at the world about it right now. I just want to throw a screaming temper tantrum like Noah and Ellie love to do! I want to cry and yell until I get my way! Why did all of this have to happen right now??? Ugh!

And I thought I'd been dealing pretty well. Guess not........

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Going home soon!

I am so excited!!!! They put in new carpet yesterday, and started moving all of our stuff back in today =) They also steam cleaned my living room carpet, and wiped everything down! Adron is installing blinds in every window in the house, and replacing the electrical receptacles in the 2 upstairs bedrooms. Talk about feeling like we've got a new house, without the inconvenience of house hunting lol! I am so thrilled!!!

Here's a few pics I took yesterday, before they brought our things back...

My shiny new sewing room:

The wall where my cutting table/fabric bolts were:

My gorgeously built window seat:

Wall where the fire was:

View from window seat into girls' room:

The girls' room - I'm totally loving how fresh and clean these colors are :o)

The window, where my old living room chair fits *perfectly*:

Looking into the hallway (you can see the color of the other bedroom):

Looking into the sewing room - notice that there is no sharpie on the walls WOOHOO!

My stairs - with new carpet and a fresh coat of semigloss paint (totally washable!):

My living room - I'm loving the green! I can't wait to see how it looks once everything is back in it:

I didn't take any pics of the other upstairs bedroom or the kitchen, since the paint colors are the same. I'll have to dig and see if I can find "before" pics to post at a later time - I'm quite thrilled with the way things look now :) And the new carpet is so yummy to dig my toes into!

On a slightly frustrating note, all of the furniture that was in the sewing room is pretty much ruined. They said they ozoned it for 3 days, and it still reeks of smoke. That means that the buffet and the china cabinet/hutch that belonged to my grandmother (and who knows how long they had been in the family before SHE got them) and considered unsalvageable. The chest of drawers (once belonged to my other grandmother) that held all my smaller pieces of knits and flannels is bad, too, along with a small bookshelf that held all my stamping stuff. There's no way I'm going to use those for fabric storage with the way they smell, so I guess that means I'll need to find some sort of replacements for them. The desks that my machines were on are toast, of course, and all 4 sewing machines have too much smoke damage to be able to consider them usable, from what I was told today.

Granted, this means I get to have new machines and new furniture, but it's a bit sad about the family pieces. Thankfully, they are just things, not people, right? And I suppose someone in the family may want to live with the smell...!

Back later with more pics - gotta watch the rest of the Memphis game. They aren't looking so great right now, but I'm crossing my fingers!

Friday, March 13, 2009


Royanna Fritschmann had the most AMAZING deal going!!! Holy cow, she was selling her entire, massively huge, store for only $29, and Adron let me buy it. I spent a few days downloading every moment I was at the house, then went without internet for 4 days. My download links expired on Tuesday, and I was quite short on getting all the DLs. Thankfully, being the wonderful person she is, Royanna graciously granted another week of access. I can't tell you how excited I am about this :oD Unfortunately for me, the internet access we have isn't high speed, so the DLing is taking forever. I have to start as many as I can before I leave the house or go to bed, and it's pretty funny lol! But sooooooooooooooo worth it! I'm really hoping that I'll be able to finish before they run out. If I don't it's not for a lack of trying. She just has so many goodies! I've already acquired 26+ Gigs and still have lots to go. I printed out the order receipt so I could have a checklist, and I'm working on page 22 of 27. When I left the house on Friday, I was on page 17. 17 pages in 3 1/2 (partial) days, now 4 1/2 pages in the next 3 1/2 (full) days. I'm really trying!

So, I'm sitting at the computer, pretty much bored, wanting to scrap, but I'm not inspired at the moment. I want to go out and do things, but I'm too tired. I've been taking nice long naps whenever I can, but I'm still worn out. I want to just surf the web, but can't figure out what to do. How did I while away so many hours online before? I mean, I've caught up on pretty much all the blog reading I like to do, but don't want to add more to my list right now since I know I'll be a little out of commission here in a few weeks ;o) I am really not involved in many forums these days, just one scrapbooking site, and I managed to post over 200 times (mostly gallery comments) in 2 short days. I'm not feeling overly chatty right now, not that you can tell from my posts lol! I just don't feel like I have much to say. I kinda want to cook, but all my baking supplies are at the house, and I don't want to go dragging them across town for a whim that I may or may not get around to lol... I haven't made it as far as getting the transparency so I can work on Jonah's gown, and for whatever reason, it hasn't occurred to me to start on the whale embroidery until just now lol! I would just LOVE to catch up with some of my friends - we keep talking about getting together, but it hasn't happened. I swear I am just turning into a hermit these days, and while I'd really like to see people, I'm having a tough time getting motivated to get out and do something. My responsibilities outside the house are killing me right now, and I need to cut back, but can't. Thankfully school is over soon, and there's no way I can do PTA board again next year with 2 little ones at home, and big ones at 3 different schools. I love being involved with the smocking guild, but I'm constantly going and now dread going to those meetings that I loved so much!

'Nuff whining! Sorry about that... I really forget that anyone ever reads this blog - I post here for myself, and it actually makes me laugh to think that anyone might be interested in what I have to say! It all started at the urging of a designer I used to CT for, and I eventually left that poor, neglected blog behind. I don't think I had ANY readers over there, so starting this one just seemed better somehow. I didn't want to focus on digiscrapping, as that is just one small aspect of ME, so the natural choice for me was to just have a personal blog that I could post whatever I wanted, from rants to gushing praise, sewing, scrapping, cooking, and anything else that happened in my life. I have thought about reposting some digital kits I had created in the past, but a.)I'm not sure anyone would actually want them, and b.)well, I don't know that I really care to generate that kind of traffic here. I feel like my readers here are my friends (even the quiet lurker types lol), and I am welcoming you into my house. The feeling I have when my few freebies have been listed on Digifree or whatever, is of hundreds of strangers tramping through my house and I have no idea what's going on. I guess I kinda feel invaded? Not that I truly mind, but that's never what I had envisioned for my little corner of the web... PLEASE don't think that I don't want people to come by!!! It makes my day when I see that someone has stopped by my blog! It's just the massive onslaught that kinda makes me nervous a bit. I mean, I'm just *me*, nothing more, nothing less!

I do get a chuckle out of the Feedjit thing, though - the way most people happen upon my blog is so funny! Usually it's some random search for information regarding hermit crabs (I'm totally useless there!), but some of the queries are so funny! Then, there are a few sad ones. One was some question about if this guy could get a fat girl pg EEK! Ummmm that's sooooooo not right! Sure, I've talked about being fat, and the other, but what a random search result! Sometimes the search terms include the names of different digiscrapping or sewing designers that I've mentioned. Cool, but I'm not at all sure I can be of any use in that way! However, the searches I love the most, and they truly do warm my heart, are the ones where people are looking for instructions on sewing jumpers. Woohoo! Not that my tute is the best, but it's really cool that people stop in for that reason! Every time I see that, I hope that they somehow were able to get a better understanding of the technique, whether from my account, or from someone else's. I also love when someone leaves my blog through a link I've posted. That's a cool feeling!

Anyway, I guess all this is just to say thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to come see what's going on in my world. I feel so blessed by my visitors here, and I want you to know that it really touches and honors me that you are my imaginary friends (dude, I can TOTALLY see that phrase bringing in some random searches now!) LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Yeah, yeah...

I am SO aware that I'm a horrible blogger (but doesn't that make me a wonderful slacker???), but it's not personal, I promise!

Needless to say, life has been nothing short of crazy lately. It's not a "bad" kind of crazy, really, just a CRAZY kind of crazy lol! For example, this week is busy as anything for me. Greek class on Monday, smocking guild on Tuesday, Lenten lecture series on Wednesday, Thursday is Audrey's FOURTEENTH birthday so we are going out for dinner, and Friday, Ellie has cheerleading and Audrey has a band concert. Well, Greek class got cancelled due to Fr. V getting sick (please send prayers his way), and the band concert on Friday has been cancelled. Not the first time this crazy band instructor has changed things at the last minute, and it makes me downright insane! Granted, it makes my life a little easier, but then again, that might depend on when the *new* date is. Grrr. And to make matters slightly more complicated, the kids and I are joining our church on Saturday afternoon, and Noah, Audrey, and I have nothing to wear.

I had planned to sew things for all of us, but when my sewing machines decided to sit in puddles of water for a few days, that kinda put a kink in my plans. SO, Ellie's godmother offered to buy her a dress (thank you so much, Brianna!!!), and we found a sweet little dress for Madeline at Target, on clearance, no less. So it looks like a trip to the mall for the others of us, which is a total nightmare, IMNSHO... It will all work out, I'm sure, but I'm not sure when I'm going to have a chance to shop.

Oh, I do have some wonderful news, though!!! No, we aren't back in our house (hmmm... that 3 weeks he promised on the front end is over on Thursday, and they are soooo not anywhere near done), but we ARE in a really nice 3 bedroom apartment. It's in a nice part of town, is quite spacious, and I really like it. As of now, I'm quite pleased with the way our insurance company is treating us, even if the restoration company is on my short list. I've finally got internet here, after going without it from Friday morning until Monday afternoon! Woohoo! I did get a bit of scrapping done in the down time, but I was having horrible withdrawls lol ;o)

As for the house, I'm totally ticked at the guy that we are dealing with. He is incredibly nice, but I keep catching him in the DUMBEST lies! I am soooooo not getting that! Not even good lies, but just these stupid ones about things that don't even matter (or makes sense). The guy painting our rooms was supposed to have worked all weekend, but he had a sick kid. No problem - he's working to support his family, I would assume, and NOT having a family to give him an excuse to work. That's cool. But he seems to work 5-6 hour days, and I'm not seeing a whole lot of progress each day. I don't know - maybe my expectations are too high or something, but I got the whole house painted in 2 weeks when I was 7 months pg with Max, and I'm far from being a professional painter. The paint job looks fabulous, where it is finished, but at the rate he's working, I'm looking at another week of just painting. Then there is the drywall. That our guy told me they were going to start hanging TODAY. Yeah, that didn't happen, either. But I DO have my carpet picked out, and only wish I could have it in my living room, too lol! LOVE it!!!

I was really unhappy about the number of days our house sat without anyone working on it, so I called our contractor and left a voice mail. He never called me back, so a day and a half later, Adron called the project manager, who finally got our dude to call Adron. More lies were told by my (formerly well liked) guy, but work started getting done. I guess I'm just really frustrated because it's getting so close to my due date? Whatever the reason, I'm starting to really freak out, and I just wanna go HOME!!!

I started making a "church dress" for Jonah - can't stand not being able to create! It a beautiful raglan sleeve daygown pattern by Jeannie Baumeister, and I'm making it out of white "Fairy Batiste". I have created a Celtic cross design to do in shadow work embroidery at the hem, and a trinity knot for the top, then a border consisting of "vines" and leaves between more trinity knots. I am planning to embroider most of it in a pale blue and a slightly darker blue, with the leaves and vines in pale green. I started tracing the design, only to discover that the fabric isn't stable enough to trace with just starching it. I'm going to get a transparency sheet and starch the fabric to it, THEN try tracing. I'm ready to start on it! I also got a pretty blue dobbie fabric (1st fabric on the page) and am making another gown with the whale design on it (pictured on the pattern).

Gonna watch some tv with my hubby - we brought our DVR over here last night, so it's really starting to feel like home LOL! But, I'll leave you with a few LO's I've been working on :o) All credits can be found in my gallery at ESS.