Anne - honey, you can come shopping in my sewing room any time you'd like! LOL! I would be more than happy to have you over! Too bad it would be an impossible drive :p ROFLOL! How 'bout a transcontinental ferry???
I had study group at church last night, and left a bit early so I could swing by Hancocks. I salvaged about 10-15 more bolts, and bought some fabric. I know, I know - it's for Ellie's Halloween costume, though, and I'm going to have to get to my cutting table AND sewing machine today! EEK! It's not that bad, though ;o) LOL! I found a gorgeous embroidered taffeta Indian top, and she needs some pants to go with it. Oh, and a scarf - I promise I'll take pictures lol!
Today, I started on the big pile of misc. stuff. OMGoodness! It is a huge tangle of fabric, elastic, ribbon, thread, pattern pieces, half-done projects, and assorted notions. I managed to fill a giant lawn and leaf bag before the garbage truck came WOOHOO!!! Now my pile of fabric has grown again, and I'm slightly overwhelmed lol! I've got tons of scraps, perfect for quilting (which I don't do), or applique, and I'm gonna have to go through them all. Some are destined for the trash, some for Stacey who requested them ;o), some for me, and the rest, I suppose will be up for grabs... I have a distinct feeling that there is going to be a good bit of stuff I'm getting rid of lol! I still have 3 totes of fabric, but I'm pretty sure that they are fairly small pieces, too. Ugh. I really don't want to deal with them! Maybe if I bag 'em and bring them downstairs to work on while Noah is destroying the house, it won't be so bad. Did I mention that I found more big pieces of fabric, so I still need even more bolts than I did yesterday afternoon? Sheesh! This is ridiculous! I've got to get this fabric addiction under control! I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of it is due to my disorganiziation. I tend to buy things over and over when I can't find what I already have. Usually, if it's consumable in some way, that's not too big of a deal. But when you have more than 3 of the same size pintuck presser feet, there's a problem...
On happier things, I've been plotting what I'm going to do once I get it all cleaned up ;o) So far, I am planning to get 2 of the 8 foot plastic tables from Costco. One will be for my machines (and I may get a 4 ft. one to make an L-shaped work area, if there's room), and the other will get a plywood top to make my cutting table/ironing board. I'm planning to add 1x2s around the underneath edges of the plywood to keep it from sliding around on the table. Then I would like to cover it with a layer of low-loft batting (and/or Thinsulate), a layer of felt, and finally, stretch canvas over it and use a laundry marker to draw on a grid. That will eliminate the need for a seperate ironing board, but I will still need a sleeve board to get small areas. That presents the issue of what to do with my iron when it's not in use, as I'm planning to put the cutting table in the middle of the room so I can walk around it. I'm also planning to use bed risers, or something like that, to make it the right height for me. I would like to build some narrow shelves on the sides of my "window seat" area, and I can get cloth bins to store my patterns and put them there. I would also like to make a cushion for the seat part, just 'cause I can lol! The two tables will allow me to eliminate the ironing board,
my grandmother's ginormous buffet that is currently my cutting table, the desk that my sewing machine and embroidery machine are on, and the sewing table that the serger is on. It will also allow me to set up my "cheapie" machine as a full-time ruffler!
I had Adron pick up a couple boxes of gallon zipper bags to store incomplete projects. My goal is going to be to complete 5 a month until they are done. Right now, I have no idea how many there are, but I would have to say it's upwards of 50!!! That's crazy!!!!!!! Hmmmmmm.... maybe I'll give away UFOs here, along with scraps LOL!
Note: I typed this yesterday, then went back upstairs to work a bit more before I actually published this post. Wellllllll...... I *did* get a lot accomplished, but while I was upstairs, our computer died. I don't mean crashed, burped, or whatever. No, it is DEAD! I don't think the HD was affected, so I should be able to retrieve everything we had on there, even though it was backed up through Mozy. That might explain why it thought all my digiscrapping files on the external HD were gone. I'm crossing my fingers that this was the case!!!
On sewing room news, I managed to go through the entire pile of misc junk, and threw away one kitchen bag, and 3 large Hancock's bags full of garbage! I haven't even started on the mountain of fabric that is taking up a huge chunk of floor space LOL! There is also still a ton of stuff over in the paper crafting area, most of it belongs to that craft, but I know there is sewing stuff mixed in, as well. Then, I went through ALL of my ribbon, and wound 120 clothes pins, and Audrey was helping wind larger yardages onto empty ribbon spools. I don't have more than 5 yards of anything, I don't think, so storage is relatively easy. Right now, the spools take up 3 of my korker dowels, which are about 18" long, and I've got about 200 total clothespins wound with ribbon that are all in a box now, until I can get storage jars for them. Did I mention that the Linens-N-Things down the street is going out of business? Maybe I should go check that out!
I have a gallon ziplock stuffed with narrower satin ribbons (from 1/16" to 3/8"), and I know I'm never going to use them, so if there is anyone out there that wants them, let me know, and they are yours for shipping :o)
In addition to the ribbon taming, I also started bagging and tagging my UFOs. As of now, I have 34 bags with projects in them, for a total of 40 projects. There are some projects sitting on my cutting table, a few are mixed in with the fabric, and a few more are in bags with the pattern I was using on them. I'm hoping that there aren't more than about 10 UFOs left to bag! On the bright side, a lot of them are nearly done, just need buttons or neck binding =)
Today's mission is to clear off that cutting table so I can make Ellie's Halloween costume - sewing time on that should be less than an hour from cut to press ;o)
I'm not sure how long it will be before we have a computer again, or how often I can borrow this one, but I'll check back as often as possible - keep your fingers crossed that we can find an awesome new machine for an awesome price!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Day 3 of Sewing Room Clean-up
I'm tired - not much of a post now, but here's what I've accomplished since the last post. I emptied out the china cabinet and put my diaper sewing supplies in it. Here is the china cabinet in all its glory.
I salvaged some more bolts from Hancocks (they really look at me funny when I go in asking for the empty bolts. "You mean the cardboards? How many? Really??? Well, you can sure have them - we just throw them away." Every time.), wrapped up more fabric, but still need about another 30-40 more. Sheesh! Every time I think I'm getting somewhere, I find more fabric lol! On the left, I have the purple french terry I mentioned yesterday, a couple of misc fabrics, suedecloth, minkee, fleece, sherpa, my amazing vintage floral, a sheer, some corduroy, a lovely navy and tan plaid silk suiting, and a cotton print.
I also piled some more on top - minkee and fleece, plus some knits and wovens in the back, then more knits up front. Yesterday, Ellie went "shopping" in my sewing room and was pointing out all the fabrics she loves lol! Thankfully, it is most of them ;o) You see the white velour with the pink floral print? That is another PRR that I'm really thinking about using to make a hooded cape for Ellie - but I'm not sure there's enough. The white with red hearts is destined to be another Olivia with short sleeves, black long sleeves, hood, and pocket. Cute with black leggings ;o)
I also wrapped smaller pieces on the comic book boards, and here's what I've got so far.
I salvaged some more bolts from Hancocks (they really look at me funny when I go in asking for the empty bolts. "You mean the cardboards? How many? Really??? Well, you can sure have them - we just throw them away." Every time.), wrapped up more fabric, but still need about another 30-40 more. Sheesh! Every time I think I'm getting somewhere, I find more fabric lol! On the left, I have the purple french terry I mentioned yesterday, a couple of misc fabrics, suedecloth, minkee, fleece, sherpa, my amazing vintage floral, a sheer, some corduroy, a lovely navy and tan plaid silk suiting, and a cotton print.
I also piled some more on top - minkee and fleece, plus some knits and wovens in the back, then more knits up front. Yesterday, Ellie went "shopping" in my sewing room and was pointing out all the fabrics she loves lol! Thankfully, it is most of them ;o) You see the white velour with the pink floral print? That is another PRR that I'm really thinking about using to make a hooded cape for Ellie - but I'm not sure there's enough. The white with red hearts is destined to be another Olivia with short sleeves, black long sleeves, hood, and pocket. Cute with black leggings ;o)
I also wrapped smaller pieces on the comic book boards, and here's what I've got so far.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
New Grosgrain Giveaway!
GROSGRAIN MINI STORE OPENING NOVEMBER 6!!!!! AND BIG PREVIEW GIVEAWAY!!!!
You have totally got to see this one, too! 3 darling reversible skirts, 3 adorable reversible shirts - and they are all just too cute for words!!!
In addition, she is opening a store in the very near future - I can't wait!
You have totally got to see this one, too! 3 darling reversible skirts, 3 adorable reversible shirts - and they are all just too cute for words!!!
In addition, she is opening a store in the very near future - I can't wait!
Sewing room cleaning, days 1 & 2
Here's some pics for you! First up, we have part of the stuff I threw out yesterday. More went, but it was taken outside before I got a picture ;o)
Next up are pics from today. I spent a couple of hours putting fabric on bolts or comic book boards. Here are the tall bolts - the 1st layer... On the left, I have twill and denim, assorted stuff in the middle, and knits on the right - from the solid grey fabric on. Right next to the grey is one of my favorite fabrics ever! It is a white on white dyeable stripe. I used it to mkae an outfit for Noah when he was a newborn :o)
Striped Ottobre zipper. Lesson learned while making this one - NEVER put an invisible zipper in something that is made of a striped knit... I honestly spent 3-4 hours on that darn zipper! This one little unsuspecting outfit is truly my sewing masterpiece - the stripes match at every seam with the exception of the crotch gusset which is really pretty unmatchable lol!
But I digress lol! Here is the 2nd layer of bolts. There is some upholstrey weight on the left, then some corduroy and terry cloth, then baby fabrics, blue, red, and purple gingham sheer (voile maybe?), cotton prints, and the last 7 bolts on the left are flannel. The 1st flannel, the turquoise print, has tinkerbell on it, and it's another of my absolute favorite fabrics! I am planning to line a pink velour jacket with it for Ellie =D
I ran out of bolts to roll my fabric on, but I still had a mountain of stuff staring at me! So, I rolled up the knits until I can get by Hancock's. This pile starts with french terry at the bottom - I bought it natural for $1/yd at Walmart, and felt the extreme urge to dye it! I dyed some pink, some blue, and there is a bolt that has about 8 yards of purple on it, but it's on the other side of the room right now. On top of that, I have my solid knits, then my prints. I adore the PRR citrus print with the coordinate stripe - I'll have to see if I can find a pic of Ellie in the outfit I made from it several years ago. Then random knits lol!
Last, but not least, you have the back stack containing some baby sherpa, my chenille, and yet another favorite fabric. The blue and green floral print came from my great aunt and is only about 32" wide. I am in love with it, but knowing that it's vintage makes me hesitant to cut into it! Maybe a sling for the new baby?
And I guess that's it for now. Audrey and I made meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes for dinner and I am STARVING!!!!!
Next up are pics from today. I spent a couple of hours putting fabric on bolts or comic book boards. Here are the tall bolts - the 1st layer... On the left, I have twill and denim, assorted stuff in the middle, and knits on the right - from the solid grey fabric on. Right next to the grey is one of my favorite fabrics ever! It is a white on white dyeable stripe. I used it to mkae an outfit for Noah when he was a newborn :o)
Striped Ottobre zipper. Lesson learned while making this one - NEVER put an invisible zipper in something that is made of a striped knit... I honestly spent 3-4 hours on that darn zipper! This one little unsuspecting outfit is truly my sewing masterpiece - the stripes match at every seam with the exception of the crotch gusset which is really pretty unmatchable lol!
But I digress lol! Here is the 2nd layer of bolts. There is some upholstrey weight on the left, then some corduroy and terry cloth, then baby fabrics, blue, red, and purple gingham sheer (voile maybe?), cotton prints, and the last 7 bolts on the left are flannel. The 1st flannel, the turquoise print, has tinkerbell on it, and it's another of my absolute favorite fabrics! I am planning to line a pink velour jacket with it for Ellie =D
I ran out of bolts to roll my fabric on, but I still had a mountain of stuff staring at me! So, I rolled up the knits until I can get by Hancock's. This pile starts with french terry at the bottom - I bought it natural for $1/yd at Walmart, and felt the extreme urge to dye it! I dyed some pink, some blue, and there is a bolt that has about 8 yards of purple on it, but it's on the other side of the room right now. On top of that, I have my solid knits, then my prints. I adore the PRR citrus print with the coordinate stripe - I'll have to see if I can find a pic of Ellie in the outfit I made from it several years ago. Then random knits lol!
Last, but not least, you have the back stack containing some baby sherpa, my chenille, and yet another favorite fabric. The blue and green floral print came from my great aunt and is only about 32" wide. I am in love with it, but knowing that it's vintage makes me hesitant to cut into it! Maybe a sling for the new baby?
And I guess that's it for now. Audrey and I made meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes for dinner and I am STARVING!!!!!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Spring, errr, FALL Cleaning!
I went upstairs this morning to sew. I, as usual, unlocked the door and was completely overwhelmed by how messy my craft room is! There are just paths from the door to the sewing machine, and from the sewing machine to the ironing board. There is so much stuff on the floor that I have to kick things out of my way just to iron! I can't even get to my paper crafting area at all! It's a horrific mess, and I can't stand it!!!!! I learned a while back that all that mess totally saps my creativity, and I've made a couple of valiant attempts at cleaning it up. Then, after an afternoon or two devoted totally to the sewing room, I give up and put it off again. Now that I'm feeling the 2nd trimester, I am bound and determined to clean it up, once and for all. This is where you, my wonderful blog friends, come in :o) I need you to hold me accountable for making steady progress on the room. I have already committed to not sewing anything until I get it under control, but that plan has (clearly) failed me in the past LOL!
So far today, I have managed to throw out a large box of random pattern pieces, a kitchen garbage bag of scraps (the unusable kind), pattern tracings, and other assorted junk, along with a broken baby gate and another small (grocery) bag of junk. Hmmmm - I really should take a picture of what I'm throwing out, just to document my progress! I have pics of the mess from the past, but I'm not posting those! I am not one to be embarrassed, but this mess is so out of control that I can't bring myself to show it. Hmmmm - maybe I will post before and after pictures when I'm done? That might be entertaining...
Right now, I have a bunch of great ideas for organizing the room on a budget, but I'm really hurting for storage space. I've got a good sized china cabinet that I need to empty out and that might be usable. It's a really old one, and has no glass - just wood doors. I think I like that! Right now, it is full of cheap picture frames, some glassware, my grandmother's journals, and other random junk. I know that I haven't used anything in it at least since we moved here, if not before. We bought this house in March '03 - if I haven't touched it in 5 years, something needs to be done with it! I'm really not sure it would be a good place to store my fabric, as the wood would probably damage it, but I think I can make it work for my notions, patterns, yarn, and who knows what else! I have a bunch of empty bolts that I've gotten from the fabric store, and I've worked on putting my large pieces of fabric on them. Right now, there are quite a few done and standing neatly against the wall in 2 different places, but there is a ton of fabric that still needs to be done. I've been putting the smaller (less than 2 yds.) pieces on comic book boards, and that is really nice. I started that a couple years ago, but am still a long way from done. On a side note, while trying to find the link showing how to fold the fabric, I ran across this link on sewing room organiziation! Holy cow! I am a fan!!! Not that I am really going to follow all the suggestions there, but it's great inspiration!
My chicken pot pies are done, and I'm going to get back to organizing after I eat :o) Did you know that 1 Banquet chicken pot pie contains 850 mg sodium - 35% of your USRDA!!! Ack!!!!!!
So far today, I have managed to throw out a large box of random pattern pieces, a kitchen garbage bag of scraps (the unusable kind), pattern tracings, and other assorted junk, along with a broken baby gate and another small (grocery) bag of junk. Hmmmm - I really should take a picture of what I'm throwing out, just to document my progress! I have pics of the mess from the past, but I'm not posting those! I am not one to be embarrassed, but this mess is so out of control that I can't bring myself to show it. Hmmmm - maybe I will post before and after pictures when I'm done? That might be entertaining...
Right now, I have a bunch of great ideas for organizing the room on a budget, but I'm really hurting for storage space. I've got a good sized china cabinet that I need to empty out and that might be usable. It's a really old one, and has no glass - just wood doors. I think I like that! Right now, it is full of cheap picture frames, some glassware, my grandmother's journals, and other random junk. I know that I haven't used anything in it at least since we moved here, if not before. We bought this house in March '03 - if I haven't touched it in 5 years, something needs to be done with it! I'm really not sure it would be a good place to store my fabric, as the wood would probably damage it, but I think I can make it work for my notions, patterns, yarn, and who knows what else! I have a bunch of empty bolts that I've gotten from the fabric store, and I've worked on putting my large pieces of fabric on them. Right now, there are quite a few done and standing neatly against the wall in 2 different places, but there is a ton of fabric that still needs to be done. I've been putting the smaller (less than 2 yds.) pieces on comic book boards, and that is really nice. I started that a couple years ago, but am still a long way from done. On a side note, while trying to find the link showing how to fold the fabric, I ran across this link on sewing room organiziation! Holy cow! I am a fan!!! Not that I am really going to follow all the suggestions there, but it's great inspiration!
My chicken pot pies are done, and I'm going to get back to organizing after I eat :o) Did you know that 1 Banquet chicken pot pie contains 850 mg sodium - 35% of your USRDA!!! Ack!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Can't sleep...
I wish I knew what was wrong with me, but I have no idea lol! I've been icky (think flu-like) for the past 4-5 days, but that's not it. Noah has been running a fever of 104 since last night - thankfully, Motrin is helping. I am so tired, but my mind is just whirring.
While trying to get to sleep, I started thinking about old friends. I tried in vain to find them on Facebook, but I just keep hoping that someday soon they will reappear out of the blue :) I'm totally missing the two Gingers that I got to know in 2001 when we were planning our weddings. The three of us met online at Wedding Channel, and got married over 3 weekends. I actually got to meet one of them around the time I had Max! Maybe it was that fall? I just can't remember right now. Then there is an old friend that I haven't talked to since Ellie was born. I think. He's a local radio guy, and he and his wife are just amazing! I really want to find him, too!!! Another one is a wonderful, wonderful woman I met on Ovusoft, right around the time we got pregnant with Max. She always remembered his birthday, but we lost touch a couple years ago. At one point, for his birthday, she sent me the most gorgeous bracelet with his name on it. Rivka, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you and miss you dearly, and that bracelet is probably my most prized possession!
In the past, I might have wondered what it was about being pg that makes me so sentimental. Now, I know that I associate all of these amazing people with the part of my life that included Max. I feel so blessed to have recently found several other friends that I had been missing, who I also got to know during that time. But that in itself is almost bittersweet... I'm SO glad to see them again, and am LOVING getting to catch up, but it just keeps bringing back memories that I kinda like to shelve while I'm pg. Oh, heck with that - I always like to shelve them, but when I'm pg, I'm just more emotional when they surface. Needless to say, the past several days have had me in tears about Max more times than I can remember. I haven't missed him this deeply since we had Ellie and she kind of helped fill that Max-shaped hole in my heart. Or maybe even since his 2nd birthday, when he was all but forgotten by so many people. Not the ones that matter, just the ones who were on the outskirts of my life.
I had such a wonderful pregnancy with Max! I was part of a fabulous online group, and several of us had babies around the same time. We used to chat almost every day, and it was so much fun! I was so full of joy and hope for the sweet baby I was carrying, and so full of plans for his future. I wondered what he would look like, what color hair he would have, if any, and I even prayed that he would have beautiful brown eyes, just like his daddy. Everything was so perfect then! We bought our house when I was 7 months pg, and I painted nearly the entire insides of the house in the 2 weeks between closing and moving in. I set up a beautiful nursery for him, and my MIL bought him a gorgeous crib. I found the sweetest Noah's Ark bedding, and sewed a coordinating extra long dust ruffle that touched the ground when the mattress was at it's highest level. I also made a crib organizer, a memo board, and pads for my rocking chair. I smocked a sweet daygown for him, we shopped for baby Raiders things when we got to go to Oakland the fall I got pg with him. I bought a moses basket and made a liner for it - with little cars and trucks all over it. I sewed cloth diapers for him, that he actually got to wear a few times. I dreamed about him, thought about him during the day, and thought it was downright hillarious that his 3rd birthday was 6-6-06!
Then he was born, and before we knew what happened, he left us. Oh, the memories of that day! I can't stand to think about it right now! It is all way too vivid! The worst part was having to tell everyone. All my online friends found out either in chat or by email, or from the journal I was posting in back then. When I got pg with Ellie, I still visited my Chatties some, but it was so tough. Not long after I had her, I totally stopped chatting with my friends. You know, the people who had been there and had shown us so much love throughout all of this. Rivka sent things several times over the next few years, and each time I wrote a tear-stained thank you note that never made it to the mail. I know I was a pretty bad friend, but as I'm finding each of these amazing ladies, they have acted like it was nothing.
Noah isn't sleeping well tonight, either. I hear him upstairs in his room, moving around, occasionaly calling for Mama, or for one of his sisters, and knocking on the door. I just want to go up there and grab him and hug him tightly. I hate knowing that he's sick, and seeing those little red cheeks just makes me melt! I want to go upstairs and kiss all my babies, but I know that would just wake up Madeline, and would keep Noah from going back to sleep. They are my light sleepers. Ellie and Audrey would have no clue that I had even come up there lol! Now Adron is awake, wondering where I am, and I really should go back to bed. But my brain is running a mile a minute. I can't lie down and be still. My eyes refuse to close. My pillow is worthless. I want a mattress that isn't so old and worn out. I have stuff to do tomorrow. I need to find a way to get rid of the kids for a day so I can fulfill an obligation to recruit 40+ judges for a project at Madeline's school. Just people in the community, businesses, etc., but I have no idea how to get that many people. So I probably should send out an email to our awesome PTA board and see if any of them can help. I need to type up the minutes from tonight's meeting. I can't make it to the membership function we are having tomorrow, and I'm the membership chair. I am sure that someone I really like really hates me right now, and I don't know how to fix it. Nor do I know if I really care. Well, I do, but enough to worry about it? Obviously so. I have a meeting with Audrey's teachers on Thursday morning, and I need someone to watch the babies so Adron can be there to back me up. I'm totally stressed about the meeting, and I really hate that school. I don't want to send Madeline there next year. For that matter, I don't know where Audrey is going to go next year, as the high school we are zoned for is horrible!!! Saturday is the Tiger's homecoming, and not only did our mascot die last week, but we are also playing a pretty good team. That stinks. My computer seems to think that my 750 gig external HD is empty. All my digital scrapbooking stuff is on there. I have no idea what do to fix the situation. And about 52 other things running through my brain along with all of these.
And I wonder why I can't sleep...
While trying to get to sleep, I started thinking about old friends. I tried in vain to find them on Facebook, but I just keep hoping that someday soon they will reappear out of the blue :) I'm totally missing the two Gingers that I got to know in 2001 when we were planning our weddings. The three of us met online at Wedding Channel, and got married over 3 weekends. I actually got to meet one of them around the time I had Max! Maybe it was that fall? I just can't remember right now. Then there is an old friend that I haven't talked to since Ellie was born. I think. He's a local radio guy, and he and his wife are just amazing! I really want to find him, too!!! Another one is a wonderful, wonderful woman I met on Ovusoft, right around the time we got pregnant with Max. She always remembered his birthday, but we lost touch a couple years ago. At one point, for his birthday, she sent me the most gorgeous bracelet with his name on it. Rivka, if you read this, I want you to know that I love you and miss you dearly, and that bracelet is probably my most prized possession!
In the past, I might have wondered what it was about being pg that makes me so sentimental. Now, I know that I associate all of these amazing people with the part of my life that included Max. I feel so blessed to have recently found several other friends that I had been missing, who I also got to know during that time. But that in itself is almost bittersweet... I'm SO glad to see them again, and am LOVING getting to catch up, but it just keeps bringing back memories that I kinda like to shelve while I'm pg. Oh, heck with that - I always like to shelve them, but when I'm pg, I'm just more emotional when they surface. Needless to say, the past several days have had me in tears about Max more times than I can remember. I haven't missed him this deeply since we had Ellie and she kind of helped fill that Max-shaped hole in my heart. Or maybe even since his 2nd birthday, when he was all but forgotten by so many people. Not the ones that matter, just the ones who were on the outskirts of my life.
I had such a wonderful pregnancy with Max! I was part of a fabulous online group, and several of us had babies around the same time. We used to chat almost every day, and it was so much fun! I was so full of joy and hope for the sweet baby I was carrying, and so full of plans for his future. I wondered what he would look like, what color hair he would have, if any, and I even prayed that he would have beautiful brown eyes, just like his daddy. Everything was so perfect then! We bought our house when I was 7 months pg, and I painted nearly the entire insides of the house in the 2 weeks between closing and moving in. I set up a beautiful nursery for him, and my MIL bought him a gorgeous crib. I found the sweetest Noah's Ark bedding, and sewed a coordinating extra long dust ruffle that touched the ground when the mattress was at it's highest level. I also made a crib organizer, a memo board, and pads for my rocking chair. I smocked a sweet daygown for him, we shopped for baby Raiders things when we got to go to Oakland the fall I got pg with him. I bought a moses basket and made a liner for it - with little cars and trucks all over it. I sewed cloth diapers for him, that he actually got to wear a few times. I dreamed about him, thought about him during the day, and thought it was downright hillarious that his 3rd birthday was 6-6-06!
Then he was born, and before we knew what happened, he left us. Oh, the memories of that day! I can't stand to think about it right now! It is all way too vivid! The worst part was having to tell everyone. All my online friends found out either in chat or by email, or from the journal I was posting in back then. When I got pg with Ellie, I still visited my Chatties some, but it was so tough. Not long after I had her, I totally stopped chatting with my friends. You know, the people who had been there and had shown us so much love throughout all of this. Rivka sent things several times over the next few years, and each time I wrote a tear-stained thank you note that never made it to the mail. I know I was a pretty bad friend, but as I'm finding each of these amazing ladies, they have acted like it was nothing.
Noah isn't sleeping well tonight, either. I hear him upstairs in his room, moving around, occasionaly calling for Mama, or for one of his sisters, and knocking on the door. I just want to go up there and grab him and hug him tightly. I hate knowing that he's sick, and seeing those little red cheeks just makes me melt! I want to go upstairs and kiss all my babies, but I know that would just wake up Madeline, and would keep Noah from going back to sleep. They are my light sleepers. Ellie and Audrey would have no clue that I had even come up there lol! Now Adron is awake, wondering where I am, and I really should go back to bed. But my brain is running a mile a minute. I can't lie down and be still. My eyes refuse to close. My pillow is worthless. I want a mattress that isn't so old and worn out. I have stuff to do tomorrow. I need to find a way to get rid of the kids for a day so I can fulfill an obligation to recruit 40+ judges for a project at Madeline's school. Just people in the community, businesses, etc., but I have no idea how to get that many people. So I probably should send out an email to our awesome PTA board and see if any of them can help. I need to type up the minutes from tonight's meeting. I can't make it to the membership function we are having tomorrow, and I'm the membership chair. I am sure that someone I really like really hates me right now, and I don't know how to fix it. Nor do I know if I really care. Well, I do, but enough to worry about it? Obviously so. I have a meeting with Audrey's teachers on Thursday morning, and I need someone to watch the babies so Adron can be there to back me up. I'm totally stressed about the meeting, and I really hate that school. I don't want to send Madeline there next year. For that matter, I don't know where Audrey is going to go next year, as the high school we are zoned for is horrible!!! Saturday is the Tiger's homecoming, and not only did our mascot die last week, but we are also playing a pretty good team. That stinks. My computer seems to think that my 750 gig external HD is empty. All my digital scrapbooking stuff is on there. I have no idea what do to fix the situation. And about 52 other things running through my brain along with all of these.
And I wonder why I can't sleep...
Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!
Holy cow!!! Have you been over to see this FABULOUS gown being given away? It is breathtaking! Go check it out - NOW!!!!
Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!
Be back soon with more sewing *I* have accomplished =D
Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!
Be back soon with more sewing *I* have accomplished =D
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Kitty Olivia
Not much of a post here, but I finally finished the Olivia I had cut out weeks ago, and here it is! We were actually on our way to go buy her some leggings to go under it - it's kinda naked-ey looking without them lol! I came to the conclusion that it is not worth my time and energy (and fabric costs!) to sew basic leggings - only if they are a coordinating fabric that I can't just buy off some rack somewhere =D Oh, and I modified the hood to make it a spiral instead of knotted. I found the instructions on www.sewingmamas.com - Oceanna was the creator!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wow! 2 days in a row!!!
I didn't have much time last night, so I just posted that qute (before I lost it lol). But I have pics from Noah's birthday party, as well as a few other random things :o) So here I am again!
Noah says the cutest things - right now, he's always saying "Hey Eh-nor!" and "Hey! Where's my wubbie? Oh! Dear it is!" and "Awwww maaaaaan! Noah wanna watch Gabba!" He has started singing all kinds of songs, and yesterday, he was trying to tell knock knock jokes! I just want to squish him - he's sooooo stinkin' cute! What am I talking about - I DO squish him all day long, and I love every second of it ;o)
Ok, now for his birthday lol!
I always make Ellie a dress or an outfit for her birthday. I made 2 outfits for Noah's birthday last year, but I hadn't made him anything this year. While sewing the other day, I ran across a piece of knit with cars on it, and thought it was perfect! So, Tuesday morning, I took it downstairs to show to Noah, and he snatched it right out of my hands. I knew we had a winner! I decided to make a curved raglan from Ottobre 3/2006, but the smallest size they had was a 104, or about a 5T. Not gonna happen - Noah is about an 86, but I tend to make 92s for grow room now. Well, I decided that by not adding seam allowances, that 104 would size down perfectly to a 92. And it did! Here is the result:
Sorry - he was being so *boy* that I had to show more than one picture lol!
Anyway, we took him to Chili's for dinner, which was a blast. I have issues with their call ahead system, though - I called, told them I had a party of 14, and requested Jay as our server. They told me that in order to have a specific server, I had to show up 20-30 minutes early. Ok, I can do that, with the added bonus of them listening to my kids scream for the entire wait. Whatever. When we got there, the restaurant was nearly empty, so they set our tables up right away and seated us. Aweseome! Unfortunately, Boots and Greg were both working, and they were running a little late getting there. So, Noah started getting cranky (and he won't eat tortilla chips, the little heathen!), so Greg and Angela gave him one of his presents to open early. His face was so precious! He was squealing about it being "Yea-go!" (Diego), and happily played with the toys until Deb and Boots got there a few minutes later. Sweet. Then we ordered, but being a large order, it took a little bit for it to come out. Everything was good, but Noah just picked at his burger. Ah well, not like the kid needs "real" food anyway, right? LOL!
Then we had Jay bring out the cake. I made an ice cream cake - it was more of a Picasso than a Rembrandt, but it tasted great! I used rocky road ice cream, which Noah loved! I tried to light the candles, and Noah was blowing them out faster than I could work lol! I finally gave the lighting job to Adron so I could take pics ;o)
After we finally got him to quit blowing, he opted to stick his fingers in the flame. Thankfully it wasn't for long, and he just pouted for few minutes.
Here's the cake:
Before the cake came out, Noah got to start opening the rest of his presents. First up was Thomas from Mimi and PopPop. Oh, wow! It was a hit! He wouldn't take his had off of it for anything, either!
Then, Greg and Angela gave Noah a brand new lovie :o) We laughed so hard at him - he started to open the package, saw the satin edge, and promptly pushed the package away while trying to tape it back up!!! I think he knew that if he pulled that lovie out, it would wind up right up his nose, and his eyes would start to get heavy lol! So, we set it aside and let him finish opening his gifts. Once he was done, I pulled out his old lovie while trying to find his baby wipes, and he pushed the old one away and asked for the new one. It was so sweet! He hugged it right to himself, laid his head down on the table and closed his eyes. For exactly .53 seconds lol! Then he just held onto it and went right back to playing lol!
Ellie didn't make it as far as the cake - poor kid crashed after she ate her corn dog...
And on a random note, I had extra cake batter after baking the cake layer for the ice cream cake. I figured cupcakes would be a perfect use for this =D Noah had picked out the cupcake papers and the sprinkles when we went to the store that morning. Not like you can really tell, but the purple ones are Eeyore, orange is Tigger, yellow is Pooh, and the pink ones are Piglet.
I think that is enough for now - I will try to get back in the next couple of days with other pictures :o)
Noah says the cutest things - right now, he's always saying "Hey Eh-nor!" and "Hey! Where's my wubbie? Oh! Dear it is!" and "Awwww maaaaaan! Noah wanna watch Gabba!" He has started singing all kinds of songs, and yesterday, he was trying to tell knock knock jokes! I just want to squish him - he's sooooo stinkin' cute! What am I talking about - I DO squish him all day long, and I love every second of it ;o)
Ok, now for his birthday lol!
I always make Ellie a dress or an outfit for her birthday. I made 2 outfits for Noah's birthday last year, but I hadn't made him anything this year. While sewing the other day, I ran across a piece of knit with cars on it, and thought it was perfect! So, Tuesday morning, I took it downstairs to show to Noah, and he snatched it right out of my hands. I knew we had a winner! I decided to make a curved raglan from Ottobre 3/2006, but the smallest size they had was a 104, or about a 5T. Not gonna happen - Noah is about an 86, but I tend to make 92s for grow room now. Well, I decided that by not adding seam allowances, that 104 would size down perfectly to a 92. And it did! Here is the result:
Sorry - he was being so *boy* that I had to show more than one picture lol!
Anyway, we took him to Chili's for dinner, which was a blast. I have issues with their call ahead system, though - I called, told them I had a party of 14, and requested Jay as our server. They told me that in order to have a specific server, I had to show up 20-30 minutes early. Ok, I can do that, with the added bonus of them listening to my kids scream for the entire wait. Whatever. When we got there, the restaurant was nearly empty, so they set our tables up right away and seated us. Aweseome! Unfortunately, Boots and Greg were both working, and they were running a little late getting there. So, Noah started getting cranky (and he won't eat tortilla chips, the little heathen!), so Greg and Angela gave him one of his presents to open early. His face was so precious! He was squealing about it being "Yea-go!" (Diego), and happily played with the toys until Deb and Boots got there a few minutes later. Sweet. Then we ordered, but being a large order, it took a little bit for it to come out. Everything was good, but Noah just picked at his burger. Ah well, not like the kid needs "real" food anyway, right? LOL!
Then we had Jay bring out the cake. I made an ice cream cake - it was more of a Picasso than a Rembrandt, but it tasted great! I used rocky road ice cream, which Noah loved! I tried to light the candles, and Noah was blowing them out faster than I could work lol! I finally gave the lighting job to Adron so I could take pics ;o)
After we finally got him to quit blowing, he opted to stick his fingers in the flame. Thankfully it wasn't for long, and he just pouted for few minutes.
Here's the cake:
Before the cake came out, Noah got to start opening the rest of his presents. First up was Thomas from Mimi and PopPop. Oh, wow! It was a hit! He wouldn't take his had off of it for anything, either!
Then, Greg and Angela gave Noah a brand new lovie :o) We laughed so hard at him - he started to open the package, saw the satin edge, and promptly pushed the package away while trying to tape it back up!!! I think he knew that if he pulled that lovie out, it would wind up right up his nose, and his eyes would start to get heavy lol! So, we set it aside and let him finish opening his gifts. Once he was done, I pulled out his old lovie while trying to find his baby wipes, and he pushed the old one away and asked for the new one. It was so sweet! He hugged it right to himself, laid his head down on the table and closed his eyes. For exactly .53 seconds lol! Then he just held onto it and went right back to playing lol!
Ellie didn't make it as far as the cake - poor kid crashed after she ate her corn dog...
And on a random note, I had extra cake batter after baking the cake layer for the ice cream cake. I figured cupcakes would be a perfect use for this =D Noah had picked out the cupcake papers and the sprinkles when we went to the store that morning. Not like you can really tell, but the purple ones are Eeyore, orange is Tigger, yellow is Pooh, and the pink ones are Piglet.
I think that is enough for now - I will try to get back in the next couple of days with other pictures :o)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Found it!!!
Well, *I* didn't actually find it, but our amazing pastoral assistant had another copy left over from last week, and he let me have it =D So, without further adieu, here is the quote that has totally impacted my life for the past week!
I am fairly certain that this is St. Maximos the Confessor.
He who loves God, lives an Angel's life on earth, fasting, and being vigilant, praising God and praying, having kind thoughts about every human being.
He who loves God does not inflict grief on anyone, and he himself doesn't feel aggrieved over temporary things. He inflicts grief and is aggrieved only with that redeeming sorrow about which the Apostle Paul wrote and who aggrieved the Corinthians, being aggrieved himself (2 Cor. 2:4).
He that loves something, will attemt to secure it in every way possible, setting aside anything that impedes its possession. Likewise, a person that loves God is concerned about having pure prayers, and banishes every passion that is an impediment to him.
If you hate some people, treat some indifferently and greatly love the others, then you should conclude from this how distant you are from complete love, which induces a person to love everyone equally.
Absolute love does not differentiate between even one personal characteristic in human beings but loves all people equally. It treats kind people as friends, and the unkind, as enemies (in accordance with the commandments), doing good to them and patiently enduring everything that is inflicted by them - not only refraining from responding with evil for evil, but through necessity, suffering for them so that as far as possible, to make them your friends. Likewise, our Lord and God Jesus Christ, revealing His love toward us, suffered for the whole humanity and gave all of us the one hope of resurrection. Incidentally, every person makes himself worthy of either glory or sufferings of hell.
He who is inquisitive about other people's sins, or through suspicions judges his brother, has not laid even the beginnings of repentance and is not attempting to recognize his personal sins, which are truly heavier than a massive lead weight. He doesn't know why a person should "love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" (Psalms 4:2-3). That is why, having forgotten about his personal sins, he wanders in the darkness like a senseless individual, concerned about others' real or imaginary ones.
I am fairly certain that this is St. Maximos the Confessor.
He who loves God, lives an Angel's life on earth, fasting, and being vigilant, praising God and praying, having kind thoughts about every human being.
He who loves God does not inflict grief on anyone, and he himself doesn't feel aggrieved over temporary things. He inflicts grief and is aggrieved only with that redeeming sorrow about which the Apostle Paul wrote and who aggrieved the Corinthians, being aggrieved himself (2 Cor. 2:4).
He that loves something, will attemt to secure it in every way possible, setting aside anything that impedes its possession. Likewise, a person that loves God is concerned about having pure prayers, and banishes every passion that is an impediment to him.
If you hate some people, treat some indifferently and greatly love the others, then you should conclude from this how distant you are from complete love, which induces a person to love everyone equally.
Absolute love does not differentiate between even one personal characteristic in human beings but loves all people equally. It treats kind people as friends, and the unkind, as enemies (in accordance with the commandments), doing good to them and patiently enduring everything that is inflicted by them - not only refraining from responding with evil for evil, but through necessity, suffering for them so that as far as possible, to make them your friends. Likewise, our Lord and God Jesus Christ, revealing His love toward us, suffered for the whole humanity and gave all of us the one hope of resurrection. Incidentally, every person makes himself worthy of either glory or sufferings of hell.
He who is inquisitive about other people's sins, or through suspicions judges his brother, has not laid even the beginnings of repentance and is not attempting to recognize his personal sins, which are truly heavier than a massive lead weight. He doesn't know why a person should "love worthlessness and seek falsehood?" (Psalms 4:2-3). That is why, having forgotten about his personal sins, he wanders in the darkness like a senseless individual, concerned about others' real or imaginary ones.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I'm a genius...!
So I totally forgot to post pics of my finished gnomes jonjon! I took pics of Noah in it 2 weeks ago, but forgot to upload the pics until today! I really like how it turned out - I still need to finish the one that I was talking about being nearly done - A MONTH AGO!!! Argh! I'm such a bum these days! Noah is so proud of being able to wink, but I was having a hard time snapping a pic as fast as he did it. The little scrunchy faces he was making are just so sweet though :o)
Strange - these pics are pretty blurry/grainy, too. I'm so gonna have to figure out what I'm doing wrong! Maybe I'm just trying to take pics too early in the day - ya know, before I am really awake lol...
Strange - these pics are pretty blurry/grainy, too. I'm so gonna have to figure out what I'm doing wrong! Maybe I'm just trying to take pics too early in the day - ya know, before I am really awake lol...
Hooray!
I've finally gotten something finished! I completed Ellie's Anna dress - and we love it! I am having a lot of issues with it slipping around on her, though. I think the corduroy doesn't have enoug friction with the lining fabric, and it made me nutty all day. I have, however, devised a solution. As I made this one to be worn only one way, I am going to add snaps to the sides. If I wanted it to be able to be worn both ways, this wouldn't be as practical, but it'll work on this one. It's really making me rethink my plans for more corduroy Annas for this fall :o( I also have been having issues with getting a good picture of it - has being pregnant made me forget how to get clear pics? Or is it just that the lighting outside today was wrong? I took some more pics tonight, but had to retake them several times just to get a non-fuzzy shot of the front of the dress...
I've really been going back and forth as to what type of content I want to put in this blog. My faith is incredibly important to me, but I know that I have stopped reading some blogs when the owner went bananas and was talking WAY too much about religion. Then again, those were supposed to be "crafting" blogs of different sorts, and the religion being touted was not even close to mine. One, actually, I stopped reading because they were bashing several religions, and different Christian denominations, which is absolutely uncalled for, in my opinion. I also take issue with people spouting political stuff that doesn't really fit in with the rest of the blog. However, as this is my personal blog, not intended to be professional in any way, I think the rules are a little different. I'm still not going to post political views, as I feel that is a very foolish reason to run people off, and I like my friends here in blog land ;o) Since faith is such an integral part of my life, I feel I would be doing *myself* a disservice by not talking about it when it applies to what's going on in my life. I will say that I am in no way judging people whose beliefs are different from mine, and that I'm very happy to know what my friends believe! I think that sharing only strengthens everyone, and allows ME to be educated on things I know very little about.
So, anyway, I've been going to a study group at my church and it has really challenged and inspired me! Most of it is WAAAAAYYYYYY over my head, but this past week we were studying St. Maximos the Confessor, and there was a quote on the sheet that really struck me. Unfortunately, I can't find the handout from that night, and I can't seem to find the quote online, either. I guess I'm left with the option to summarize what impressed me so much. I doubt if it will come across as intensely as it struck me, but here goes.
Basically, St. Maximos said that if your *truly* love God, you won't worry about what other people are doing, you will focus on Him alone, and not be involved in anyone's business. No judging others, no worrying about what they do. That really, really hit me because I always get so caught up in what everone else has going on. Worrying about how other people are harming themselves, but refusing to work on what I should be doing. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that I obviously do not love God the way I thought. I feel like such a foolish child, and am determined to work on this. I want to be one of those people that has nothing unkind to say about anyone. I want to let go of the foolishness that I've been involved in and embrace this new way of looking at things.
I had an opportunity to do something like that this week, and I was so comforted when I was able to give my worries over to God. Without going into it, there was a major mishap, and I no longer have any newborn girl clothes, so if this is a girl, I could be in a bind. Then it hit me that God has provided for every one of my children so far, and how dare I assume that He won't be able to do so for this one! While I'm a little sad that there may have been some "special" clothes in there, I am totally in awe of how He turned my attitude around and allowed me to be thankful for the opportunity. If you never give Him a chance to show what He can do, then it's easy to be haughty and arrogant, thinking you can take care of yourself! I am so blessed that I've had these clothes to use for my girls, and I know that I will have exactly what I need for this sweet little blessing. I had way too many clothes, anyway - more than enough for 3-4 children to use at the same time! Thousands of dollars of high-end clothes, nearly all of them hand me downs or gifts, and a few that I've made. It is actually a relief, in a way, to know that I don't have to find room to store so many clothes. Besides, this may not be a girl, anyway ;o) Don't get me wrong - I was incredibly sad at first, but as I prayed, I was given a beautiful peace that can not have been from anything I did. Funny how one teeny tiny baby step in the right direction feels like such a milestone!
I've really been going back and forth as to what type of content I want to put in this blog. My faith is incredibly important to me, but I know that I have stopped reading some blogs when the owner went bananas and was talking WAY too much about religion. Then again, those were supposed to be "crafting" blogs of different sorts, and the religion being touted was not even close to mine. One, actually, I stopped reading because they were bashing several religions, and different Christian denominations, which is absolutely uncalled for, in my opinion. I also take issue with people spouting political stuff that doesn't really fit in with the rest of the blog. However, as this is my personal blog, not intended to be professional in any way, I think the rules are a little different. I'm still not going to post political views, as I feel that is a very foolish reason to run people off, and I like my friends here in blog land ;o) Since faith is such an integral part of my life, I feel I would be doing *myself* a disservice by not talking about it when it applies to what's going on in my life. I will say that I am in no way judging people whose beliefs are different from mine, and that I'm very happy to know what my friends believe! I think that sharing only strengthens everyone, and allows ME to be educated on things I know very little about.
So, anyway, I've been going to a study group at my church and it has really challenged and inspired me! Most of it is WAAAAAYYYYYY over my head, but this past week we were studying St. Maximos the Confessor, and there was a quote on the sheet that really struck me. Unfortunately, I can't find the handout from that night, and I can't seem to find the quote online, either. I guess I'm left with the option to summarize what impressed me so much. I doubt if it will come across as intensely as it struck me, but here goes.
Basically, St. Maximos said that if your *truly* love God, you won't worry about what other people are doing, you will focus on Him alone, and not be involved in anyone's business. No judging others, no worrying about what they do. That really, really hit me because I always get so caught up in what everone else has going on. Worrying about how other people are harming themselves, but refusing to work on what I should be doing. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that I obviously do not love God the way I thought. I feel like such a foolish child, and am determined to work on this. I want to be one of those people that has nothing unkind to say about anyone. I want to let go of the foolishness that I've been involved in and embrace this new way of looking at things.
I had an opportunity to do something like that this week, and I was so comforted when I was able to give my worries over to God. Without going into it, there was a major mishap, and I no longer have any newborn girl clothes, so if this is a girl, I could be in a bind. Then it hit me that God has provided for every one of my children so far, and how dare I assume that He won't be able to do so for this one! While I'm a little sad that there may have been some "special" clothes in there, I am totally in awe of how He turned my attitude around and allowed me to be thankful for the opportunity. If you never give Him a chance to show what He can do, then it's easy to be haughty and arrogant, thinking you can take care of yourself! I am so blessed that I've had these clothes to use for my girls, and I know that I will have exactly what I need for this sweet little blessing. I had way too many clothes, anyway - more than enough for 3-4 children to use at the same time! Thousands of dollars of high-end clothes, nearly all of them hand me downs or gifts, and a few that I've made. It is actually a relief, in a way, to know that I don't have to find room to store so many clothes. Besides, this may not be a girl, anyway ;o) Don't get me wrong - I was incredibly sad at first, but as I prayed, I was given a beautiful peace that can not have been from anything I did. Funny how one teeny tiny baby step in the right direction feels like such a milestone!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Reflecting
Last night, we all went to the visitation for Adron's grandfather. Ellie and I talked about it all day, and at some point this conversation occurred.
Ellie: "I love funerals!!!"
Me: "What?"
Ellie: "I really LOVE funerals - I am excited that we're going to one tonight!"
Me: "Errrmmmm.... Okay... But the funeral is tomorrow... And why do you like them anyway? I mean, it's sad when someone we love dies."
Ellie: "No it's not! That means they get to go to Heaven, and that's a REALLY GOOD thing!"
Wow. What a profound observation! She went on to talk about how Max is in Heaven, and when she dies, she will get to see him again. She is totally obsessed with death these days, and I'm sure it's normal for the age, but not something I really care to focus on at this point in my life lol! I think she still believes that I'm immortal, but she's recently realized that her daddy will die at some point, and whenever she mentions that, she always says "But hopefully not soon, right?" Sighhhhhhhh...... I don't know what to say other than, "No, baby, we hope it's not for a very, VERY long time, but you never know what God has planned for us."
On a slightly different note, although on the same subject, I think I honestly have the most warped memory ever. Going through the loss of a child is so intense that it makes everything around it feel washed out and faded. I have such muddled memories of his funeral, but a few vivid memories do stand out. The first is that Max didn't look right. Then I remember one of my very dear friends just sobbing her heart out - to this day, the memory of that brings tears to my eyes. Then I remember that I started bleeding so heavily that I nearly passed out. And the oddest memory of all is hearing Adron's grandfather say, "Well, at least you weren't too attached to the little critter yet." Oh, I so just wanted to scream at him! I know he was trying to be comforting, but that is quite honestly the most horrid thing anyone has ever said about Max's death. What do you mean not attached? I'm in love from the moment I see that 2nd pink line lol! I felt this baby growing inside of me - I knew his personality! I looked into his beautiful dark blue eyes and saw a precious little soul there! How on earth could I be "not attached" yet!!! I feel bad that this is really one of the biggest memories of my entire life. It's not his fault that he wanted to make me feel better and the wrong words came out. I know that he was a really good man, gruff and loving all at the same time. I know that he brought a lot of joy to a lot of people, and the only thing that stands out is something really dumb. Ack! I would HATE to be remembered like that!!! I'm sure someone will recall the horrible things I've said and done over the years, and that thought makes me so sad.
Ok - enough funeral/death for one morning LOL! We are leaving in about 20 minutes, and it's raining cats and dogs. Of all things, I have Noah dressed in a pale yellow jonjon and white shoes and knee socks. Great for playing in the mud, right? LOL! Ah well. That's life with a little boy ;o) Here's a picture of him on his birthday last year wearing the same outfit:
I'll try to get a picture of him in it this year - it was so big last year, and *just* fits him now. I can't believe how much my little man has grown! He'll be 2 in a week! I've got more pics to post shortly, but Adron is telling me it's time to go. Be back later!
Ellie: "I love funerals!!!"
Me: "What?"
Ellie: "I really LOVE funerals - I am excited that we're going to one tonight!"
Me: "Errrmmmm.... Okay... But the funeral is tomorrow... And why do you like them anyway? I mean, it's sad when someone we love dies."
Ellie: "No it's not! That means they get to go to Heaven, and that's a REALLY GOOD thing!"
Wow. What a profound observation! She went on to talk about how Max is in Heaven, and when she dies, she will get to see him again. She is totally obsessed with death these days, and I'm sure it's normal for the age, but not something I really care to focus on at this point in my life lol! I think she still believes that I'm immortal, but she's recently realized that her daddy will die at some point, and whenever she mentions that, she always says "But hopefully not soon, right?" Sighhhhhhhh...... I don't know what to say other than, "No, baby, we hope it's not for a very, VERY long time, but you never know what God has planned for us."
On a slightly different note, although on the same subject, I think I honestly have the most warped memory ever. Going through the loss of a child is so intense that it makes everything around it feel washed out and faded. I have such muddled memories of his funeral, but a few vivid memories do stand out. The first is that Max didn't look right. Then I remember one of my very dear friends just sobbing her heart out - to this day, the memory of that brings tears to my eyes. Then I remember that I started bleeding so heavily that I nearly passed out. And the oddest memory of all is hearing Adron's grandfather say, "Well, at least you weren't too attached to the little critter yet." Oh, I so just wanted to scream at him! I know he was trying to be comforting, but that is quite honestly the most horrid thing anyone has ever said about Max's death. What do you mean not attached? I'm in love from the moment I see that 2nd pink line lol! I felt this baby growing inside of me - I knew his personality! I looked into his beautiful dark blue eyes and saw a precious little soul there! How on earth could I be "not attached" yet!!! I feel bad that this is really one of the biggest memories of my entire life. It's not his fault that he wanted to make me feel better and the wrong words came out. I know that he was a really good man, gruff and loving all at the same time. I know that he brought a lot of joy to a lot of people, and the only thing that stands out is something really dumb. Ack! I would HATE to be remembered like that!!! I'm sure someone will recall the horrible things I've said and done over the years, and that thought makes me so sad.
Ok - enough funeral/death for one morning LOL! We are leaving in about 20 minutes, and it's raining cats and dogs. Of all things, I have Noah dressed in a pale yellow jonjon and white shoes and knee socks. Great for playing in the mud, right? LOL! Ah well. That's life with a little boy ;o) Here's a picture of him on his birthday last year wearing the same outfit:
I'll try to get a picture of him in it this year - it was so big last year, and *just* fits him now. I can't believe how much my little man has grown! He'll be 2 in a week! I've got more pics to post shortly, but Adron is telling me it's time to go. Be back later!
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