Monday, April 6, 2009

It's kinda like a roller coaster ride...

I can't believe we are almost there! Right now I feel like I'mn on a roller coaster that is slowly going up to the top of the biggest hill, *just about* to head down the giddy, wonderful descent! There's no stopping now, no turning back,but I'm really not sure I'm ready lol!

Yeah, I know, it's a little late for that, but knowing that Jonah is scheduled to be here in 3 days is a little scary! Usually, I'm just fine going into the c-section. Nervous, sure, but not really worried about things. This time, however, I am totally freaked out and afraid that I'm not going to survive it. I know it's a totally (mostly) irrational fear, but it's still there. I know I have a great doctor, love her surgical tech, and the nurses at this hospital have been amazing for all three kiddos I've had there so far. I don't know if I'm just more aware of my own mortality, or if it's the gravity of knowing that I would be leaving behind FIVE motherless children. Then again, it could be something else entirely. I know that I've always had that tiny tinge of "what if", but nothing as strong as this. I know that there's always a chance something could happen to me, naturally or otherwise, but I just keep thinking of all the "routine surgeries" where the patient doesn't make it for one reason or another. Hmmmm... On 2nd thought, maybe it's stemming from watching an episode of Nip Tuck with Adron where the patient died as a result of the anesthesia interacting badly with her antidepressants. Granted, my OB is well aware of the meds I'm on, but maybe that is what's bothering me.

Whatever happens, I know it's in God's hands, and that I have zero control over it :o)

::Shaking that off::

On to happier things lol! I finally went shopping for Jonah!!! I didn't have a comeing home outfit or a hospital photos outfit for him yet. He is SUCH a 6th child lol! It's not for a lack of intention, but when I lost my ability to sew for him, it totally threw off my plans lol! So, Saturday, while Audrey was at cheerleading practice, I went to Gymboree and found some cuuuuuute little things for him! I'm not at all sure what he's going to wear for pics, or home, for that matter, but I've got something to choose from now lol! I managed to pick up 2 long sleeved rompers, a tee shirt, a polo, a pair of jeans, and a long sleeved onesie for less than $60! Everything I got was on sale - and I was delighted that there was a line with whales on it lol! Is that warped? Heehee! Then a friend of ours gave us a darling little outfit for Jonah that has planes on it :o) Love it!

I also ordered 3 Bravado nursing bras from Mothersville - they have them on sale for $22! Eek! What a deal! now I just pray that I like the way they fit.... I need to buy some prefold diapers and a couple of Imse Vimse wool covers, too, once I have some $$$ to do so. I really hope that I'll be able to use cloth on this little guy - Noah's bottom was more sensitive to the moisture from the cloth than to the chemicals in the disposable diapers, so I had to quit CDing when he was 6 weeks old. Talk about being bummed out! And I had sewn up a bunch of yummy sherpa dipes for him, too!

I loaned out the rest of my cloth dipes, but I don't think they are coming back due to an unfortunate incident (I promise I'm ok with it ;o) ), so I'm just going to wait and see if Jonah's little bottom can handle cloth before I go out and buy more.

In other family news, Noah is sick. Grrrrrrr. Last February, he wound up with a stomach bug that lasted the typical day or two, but threw up for another 2 weeks. Couldn't keep ANYTHING down, short of giving him Zofran. The pediatrician wasn't concerened, but I was freaked out! The poot kid went from 23 lbs to 18 lbs, about 20% of his body weight! That is a whole lot of weight for a tiny little guy to lose, and I was seriously concerened about it damaging his heart!!! I think he's got sinus drainage this time, as he's not actually heaving, just kinda "spitting up", and it's all clear. I gave him a slice of bread this morning, and he kept it down, but he couldn't keep down the powerade I gave him. Last night, he was so pitiful when we were eating dinner! I felt horrible for him, so I had Adron start the "Cars" movie for him to watch while we ate. He ended up coming in the kitchen, getting his plate off the counter, and begging for "back-boney and tees"! It was so sad!!! I am half tempted to give him a little bit today for lunch to see if it'll stay down, but I know that he'll prolly never eat it again if it doesn't. Last year, we thought he was over it, and fed him hotdogs, which promptly came back up. Now he won't eat them, and they used to be his favorite thing. I've been giving him Pepto to help coat his stomach, but I think he needs something to prevent the vomiting. And the darn pediatrician isn't going to agree. I know my child, I know that he hardly ever gets sick, and I know that when he does, it takes a very long time for his stomach lining to heal. I can't imagine having to clean up puke for the next 2 weeks, when I will hardly be able to take care of a healthy toddler on top of a newborn and a c-section recovery. Ugh! Anyone wanna come help??? LOL! I'm kidding - I wouldn't do that to any of my friends!

Guess it's lunch time - I am hoping to get back on here before I have Jonah. I've done a lot of scrapping in the past few days lol! I need to post some LOs!


Anne R said...

Yay for getting the shopping for Jonah done! :)

And oh you poor souls - Noah definitely needs something to get his body started again... 5 pounds IS a lot for a little one! How's he holding down crackers and such, salty things, soda pop?

I WOULD come and help if I could <3

I will be thinking of you on Thursday ((((good vibes))))

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